There are certain losses that have a greater impact on our lives than others. Yet, there is one category of loss that is often accompanied by judgment: losing a companion animal who has been by our side daily, who has been there for us no matter what, naturally draws compassion. It’s understood that the animal brought joy into our home, sometimes became a reason to live, and awakened a sense of responsibility in us. Losing a pet is often like losing a piece of our heart.
A person who loses their pet—a life companion, a beloved being—experiences feelings of grief, anger, and guilt. We acquire a pet either out of love for animals or to combat loneliness. When our companion passes, we often find ourselves thrown back into that solitude. Pet loss grief is a topic that society does not place much importance on, so the grieving individual often feels isolated and in pain, without anyone to talk to.
The Pet Loss Grief Program is part of the current mission of “Entraide-Deuil” and “aims to promote the well-being and independence of those grieving the loss of a loved one through mutual support and group sharing, as well as a holistic approach to grief.”
A loved one is someone who was a companion, a “child”, a confidant who listened without judgment or reproach. This dog or cat that shared 10 or 15 years of life with us filled voids and was there during both good and bad moments. It’s hard to face family, friends, or even the vet with such overwhelming emotion. We need to be able to process such an emotional release, and it’s normal that not everyone can handle it.
In the face of such distress, people around us may say things like, “It was just a dog,” “You’ll get over it,” or “Are you getting another one soon?”
Pets also meet the need to care for someone or have responsibilities. They prevent feelings of loneliness and disorientation. Pet owners often explain that their animals made them feel useful, gave them something to care for, and kept them from being alone.
Pets help us cope with sad events by serving as living reminders of a loved one who passed or becoming a new source of affection. They bring joy, make us laugh, and lift our spirits. Sometimes, an overwhelming sensitivity to them compensates for an inability to connect with humans. (Gérard Morel, psychoanalyst)
Scientifically, when we’re with an animal, we produce oxytocin, the bonding hormone, which creates feelings of well-being. This hormone is released whenever we’re around people we trust. The bond we have with a pet can fill our emotional needs to a certain extent. In moments of depression or vulnerability, this bond may even be preferred over interaction with other people, as we don’t have to maintain a certain image of ourselves or make any effort. (Isabelle Taubes)